Last week our beloved dog Rags, died unexpectedly; we were devastated. One minute he was barking and playing, and the next minute he was fighting for his life. It was unbelievable, heart wrenching, and came out of nowhere!
Earlier that week, our little schnauzer, Buddy Joe had fallen gravely ill. He is 11 1/2 years old, he has diabetes, is blind and hard of hearing. I had just come home from taking Buddy Joe to the vet for the second time that week; this time we left him with our vet to receive additional medication via IV. When I drove in the driveway, rags ran to the gate, as he always does, barking, excited I was home. I sat in the truck to complete a phone call, and then walked into the house expecting Rags to be waiting at the back door. However, when I got to the back door, Rags was not there. I looked out into the yard and saw him lying in the grass next to one of our large pine trees. That was completely out of character for Rags. I called his name, he looked back at me, panting, but he seemed fine, still it was very odd. I called him again, and he didn’t come, I knew immediately something was wrong. I ran over to him, picked him up, and stood him on his feet, he collapsed, he was limp! I scooped him up and ran into the house, and placed him on his bed. Again, I tried to stand him up, but he could not stand, and his breathing was labored. I couldn’t imagine what had happened from the time I drove into the garage to the time I got to the back door. I called the vet and let them know something was wrong with Rags and that I was bringing him in. My mind raced, had he injured himself? Was it poison? What was going on?
We arrived at the vet’s office within 15 minutes, he was panting heavily, he was clearly in distress. The vet took one look at him and gave him an injection of medication to stop any type of allergic reaction he may be having, and to open his airway, then immediately put him on oxygen. However, Rags was not responding to the medication. They started an IV, took x-rays and bloodwork…he was declining rapidly! Our vet consulted a specialist and was doing everything in her power to save Rags, but he was slipping away. She intubated him, and began life support, but within a few minutes Rags was gone. I could not get my head to decipher the events that had just transpired. I was in complete disbelief, my stomach seized up, my chest grew tight, and my heart sank, I was in shock. A flush of sadness rushed over me like a dark cloud, I was crushed. The vet was speaking to me, but I could not make out the words she was saying, I was in a cloud. How did this happen? What could I have done that would have changed this awful turn of events? At that moment I realized that we might lose Buddy Joe too, he was in the next room, weak and very ill.
Before I knew it, I was in my truck driving home, alone and bewildered at what had happened. While it’s true, the loss of a pet does not compare to the loss of a human, it is a devastating loss nonetheless, and I was heartbroken. I spent the night going over every detail of what had happened, thinking what if…what if I had taken him with me to the vet, as I usually do. What if I had not made that phone call in the truck, and rather, gone straight into the house? I felt so incompetent, so inept; I could not accept that I had done everything possible to save Rags.
Later that day, we went back to the vet’s office to pick-up Buddy Joe. The entire office staff was as sad about Rags as we were, in tears; the vet went over everything she had done to save Rags, and how very sorry she was. We gathered up Buddy Joe and went home. It was a rough night, Buddy Joe was still very fragile, and not out of the woods. We were scheduled to take him back to the vet’s office the next morning. When we arrived, the vet called us into one of the exam rooms. After we had gone home the night before, determined to help us understand what had happened to Rags, they examined Rags and discovered he had hemangiosarcoma in his spleen, liver and lungs, a type of cancer that had most likely contributed to his death. I was heartbroken, and had been overwhelmed with the thought I could have done more to save Rags, however, with this revelation, it appeared there was nothing I could have done; it was just his time to go.
It has been a week now, Buddy Joe is recovering, eating, drinking, and walking on his own, and getting stronger every day. As soon as he got his strength back however, he went looking for Rags. This was so hard to watch. He would go from room to room, and then go back to his bed to lie down, he was visibly sad. Buddy Joe is our special needs dog. He’s always been a little awkward, he walks backward on hard floors because he is afraid he will slip, and although he likes to be loved on…kind of, he doesn’t know quite how to handle it; he begins to get uncomfortable and uneasy if given too much attention. He is afraid of his own shadow, does not handle well, bathing, his nails being trimmed, or any type of grooming, he doesn’t cozy up to strangers much, and he has been sickly most of his life…he really is a special needs dog, and Rags was Buddy Joe’s companion, he looked out for Buddy Joe. Rags would help him find the ramp to go down the stairs on the deck. At mealtime, Rags would wait to eat until I had given Buddy Joe his insulin, it was as if he knew Buddy Joe needed medication, once Buddy Joe got his injection of insulin, Rags would eat his food. In the morning when Buddy Joe wanted out, Rags would stand over me and stare, he wouldn’t touch me, or make a sound, he would just stare, willing me awake. I would literally feel a presence, open my eyes, and there was Rags, an inch from my face! I would say, do you want out, and he would throw his head back and bark so loud, as if to say, YAY SHE’S AWAKE! Then he would leap off the bed, and bound toward the door! Buddy Joe loved Rags, and depended on Rags for moral support on his numerous trips to the vet, and for companionship at home; I know he will need some time to get over losing Rags too.
It’s funny how you grow complacent with the blessings in your life. I don’t think we mean to, but we do. On that day, I had come to accept that Buddy Joe might not survive; I never imagined the day would end with Ragsy’s death. Rags was one of a kind, he was a great dog! He was a snuggle bug, loved to have his belly rubbed, and always had a smiley face. He was full of love and life, he brought so much happiness and laughter to our home, he was a blessing, and I am so glad that we got to be his family. Ragsy Richardson will be forever missed.
View from the Colorado Trail
Beautiful hike with panoramic views
Beautiful mountains and sky – Bayfield, CO
Beautiful Double Rainbow – Durango, CO
Just another day in the Rocky Mountains
In Central Park with my grand-furbabies
On a hike in the Colorado Mountains
Shannon Richardson ~ Author & Photographer 